You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
