I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
