We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize