the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
he just fucked me for my cheese..
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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