Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
