you have to choose: penises or morals?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
