i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize