I accidentally had phone sex last night
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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