Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
