i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
