He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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