week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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