smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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