Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
