at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
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