You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
