Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
