I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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