Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
And then my night got REAL pukey
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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