It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
