Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
