so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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