I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Pooping to opera.
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