Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
