I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My vagina just recognized that song.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
