fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
