the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
