she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
