you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
