I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
