When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
