One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
