Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
