just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
