he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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