Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
