okay pat passed out under dana's car
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
