I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He better not be in your backpack
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
