Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
