STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
