We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Randomize
