apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
