Christians are straight up FREAKS
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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