I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
