the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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