Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
