She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize