He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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