When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
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