Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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