Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
