I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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