dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
