You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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