yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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