Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
