If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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