Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
